Rosemary Steak...

        Dear Readers,

       If you are in search of a good recipe then look no further. I have been obsessed with the preparation of meat for years fish, chicken, etc. The only problem I have is every time I consume steak made by family or in a restaurant, it is dry an chewy. At about eighteen years old, I managed to break through the barriers of chewy steak.  Without further ado, I present my perfect recipe:

       1 porterhouse steak

       3 sprigs of rosemary

       6 Tbsp. Salted butter

       1 Tbsp. everything bagel seasoning (any seasoning is fine but I prefer to use this)

       1/4 Tsp. sea salt 

        2 Vidalia onions (the bigger the better)

    

       1. Pat steak dry with paper towel

       2. Crank your stove top on high and throw a large cast iron pan on the burner. (It MUST be cast-iron)

       3. Dramatically toss your steak into the pan and sprinkle your seasoning and rosemary on the steak and pat it in

        4.yeet your butter on top of the steak. - important side note: it is imperative you shout "YEET!" while doing this step or it will not work.

        5. Wait till the butter is melted, and start spooning it back over the steak. No, not like that.... what are you doing?! Stop! Get your hands off of me!

        6. Flip steak when underside is crispier than your reserved seat in hell after you laughed at the neighbor's dog for tripping a random child. 

        7. You know the drill: Spoon the butter and check to see if it is CRISPY! Once that bad boy has an internal temp of 140*f then chuck that steak across the room like a Wii sports bowling ball and have it expertly land on a plate.

       8. Use that butter you got in the pan to cook those onions at a medium heat. Think I forgot about those onions? shame on you! we don't waste food in this house! Don't you know there are children starving in Africa?!

      9. Cook them onions until they are golden. Serve them with the steak and eat it. After the kids are done eating make sure to tell them you ran out of things to have for dessert. Now make them clean up the kitchen and go to bed. 

     10. Walk downstairs to your basement freezer and eat the tub of moose tracks ice cream and drink the bottle of rose you hid down there. After 10 minuets of contemplating life, break down in tears over the impending doom of knowing you have the in-laws coming over next week for early thanksgiving.... you should probably cancel and tell them the dog is sick. In reality your sick... sick of them